106. Is polygamy justified?
This verse (4:3) of the Quran allows men to have four wives.
This is widely believed to be a great injustice towards women. But if keenly observed we could understand the justification behind the permission granted to do so.
The permission so granted is not done in a way to encourage every man to marry four women nor it is commanded to do so.
The verse says:
If you fear justice will not be rendered by you in the case of orphans, you may marry women you adore in ones, twos, threes and fours.
Those who undertook the responsibility of looking after orphaned girls did so with the ulterior motive of usurping their properties.
This verse says if there is a fear of perpetrating injustices towards the orphaned girls then he can marry one, two, three or four of them. This permission is slated towards people who fear injustice from their part towards women.
This must be understood first.
And the reason for granting permission should also be understood.
People who point out polygamy is primarily an injustice towards the first wife cite her vulnerability.
No doubt she is vulnerable.
But the first wife does not become vulnerable or affected just because of a second wife, it could also happen if the husband decides to have a concubine without marriage.
This could have a more profound effect than the husband getting married a second time, by transmitting diseases from his illegal relationship with many women.
Can these people who oppose second marriage stop legally the practice of men having concubines or for that matter prostitution. None of the countries in the world that oppose polygamy have in them a mechanism to stop either of these.
When the wife of a person approaches the police with a complaint against him having a concubine, they don’t take cognizance of it, saying he has gone for a second marriage, and even after pursuing a court case she ultimately gets the same response.
This is the law of the land in India.
If the argument polygamy violates women’s rights, a law should be necessarily promulgated to make it a small crime rather than banning it completely.
When there is no way to stop men from having concubines or resorting to prostitution, or for that matter impossible to deter immoral women from capturing husbands of other women, Islam says to get married to such women thereby giving them a legal status.
Due to increase in instances of girls getting pregnant before marriage and being abandoned later, the Malaysian Hindus are demanding permission to practice polygamy. (Malaysia Nanban-Daily 05.01.2002.)
There are several justifications put forward in Islam for permitting polygamy.
1.Girls of marriageable age are more in number than boys, because they are ready for marriage, almost 10 years ahead of males.
2. The population of women is more than men.
3.The death rate is less in the case of women.
4. A sizable young husbands are killed in wars.
5.A good number of women get involved in prostitution, because they don’t get the opportunity lead a married life.
6.The pathetic condition of huge increase in demand for dowry by men.
7. Incidents of girl babies being buried alive and increase in feticide is a daily occurrence.
8.Increase in bachelors add to the deficit of males.
9. Girls who realize parents are unable to make the kind of money demanded as dowry resort to decisions on their own and end up losing their chastity.
10.Girls who commit suicide after concluding they will never get married.
Islam allows polygamy taking into consideration all the above justifiable reasons.
And because of the above reasons the number of people having illegal relationships with women will come down is a fact.
And since having more than one wife involves a lot of responsibilities very few opt for polygamy. And there is no responsibility to be shouldered in having concubines or indulging in prostitution, ruining men.
Moreover, the chances of being self-afflicted by venereal diseases and transmitting the same to wives is more in such cases.
And, Islam does not command to practice polygamy, but permits it as a remedy to those in need.
There are several girls who are ready to be a second wife to men proves the fact polygamy is justified.
There is demand by people that poly Andry should also be permitted just as polygamy. This demand is detestable and cannot be accepted.
The above cited reasons shown by us does not apply to women even in one case, and if polyandry is allowed in women there will be an increase in evil effects that can be pinpointed. Hence there is no reason to permit polyandry.
Rather it should be understood that permitting polyandry would result in disaster and evil.
A single man when left alone for a year with a hundred girls can produce a hundred babies, can the same happen when a girl is left alone with a hundred men?
We can easily identify the parents of a child when it is from a single man and ten girls. But when a girl is in a relationship with many men, we cannot pinpoint correctly the father of the child and only the mother is known.
Nothing more despicable can happen to a child. The descendants of such parents would face untold misery and psychological torture when they don’t know who fathered them.
When a man fathers four kids from four wives, he is burdened with the responsibility, and it is fixed on that person. He can be forced to maintain the kids. Can this maintenance be guaranteed by the many males who had relationships with the single female?
If each male refuses to accept the child was born to him, what is the yardstick to pinpoint the male parenthood, wouldn’t the future of the child turn out to be a big question?
Or for that matter if all the four men claim the male parenthood can the child be cut into four equal parts and shared by them.
If a person has many children all are recognized as his descendants and they have a rightful claim over his property and all matters, after his death.
At the same time when any one of the many husbands dies her children will find it tough to inherit the properties left back by him.
The result of a women having sex with many men ends in aids. The secretions from sex organs of a women meeting many men transmit viruses with venereal disease infecting everyone who come in contact with the woman. Women are more vulnerable to such infections as proven by scientific studies. Hence men get infected with these kinds of diseases on coming into contact with a woman having the same.
But the doctors and the government here advertise the slogan ‘One woman for One man’. This is erroneous. It should be ‘One man for One woman’ In Arab countries there are more than one woman for a man. There is no prevalence of aids there. Hence if a man has more than one wife it does not result in aids, but when a wife has more than one husband it leads to aids.
Women who have uncontrolled sex with many men are the source of aids disease and spreads it to men having sex with her.
For this reason, polyandry cannot and should not be permitted.
If a woman has many husbands, and if all of them want to have sex with her at the same time, the results would be disastrous even ending with murder etc.
Hence there is no justification for allowing polyandry, but there are many staunch rationales for permitting polygamy.
The National Commission for Women of India has been instituted to look after the welfare of women. This commission has recommended to accord the status and rights of a wife to women having illegal and immoral relationships with men. (Dina malar Oct 26/2009).
The National Council for Women has recommended payment of alimony to concubines.
This commission has recommended alimony to be paid not only to legally wed wives but also to those women and children from them who were in immoral and illegal relation with the man.
There are no legal stipulations for women in India who are in an illegal relationship with men, and these women are looked upon as guilty of an illegal act.
As per IP Cr Act 125 (5) alimony cannot be paid to any women who are viewed as second or third wife of a man. The NCW of India has deliberated over this issue and without any legal basis recommends alimony for illegal wives and children born out of them.
And recommends maintenance for such women and legally wed wives so that they do not become destitute. (DinaMalar news Oct/26/2009)
NCW of India has recommended in other words what Islam has being saying about polygamy. These recommendations by the NCW demolish all misconceptions about polygamy.
Here we need to bring into focus some of the Muslims misusing this grant.
Muslims who opt for a second marriage do it without informing the first wife. and they also consider it unnecessary.
Since it involves the rights of the first wife, informing her is a must.
When a man lives with a woman, he shares most of the time with her and spends mostly with her. All this is shared with another when there is a second marriage.
When there is a vulnerability on the part of the first wife a necessity automatically arises to inform her.
She might also come to think as ‘I married you so that your entire attention would be on me, if half of the attention is diverted to another, I might as well consider no need to leave you’.
When informed about the second marriage she can assert her right.
Due to the undisclosed second marriage the second wife also is affected because of the inability of the husband to share an equal number of days, hence the unfulfillment of his duties towards her.
And both the wives will be affected when he dies without informing them about the second marriage.
While the first wife and her kids are under the assumption that the entire property of the dead husband belongs to them, the second wife and her kids laying a parallel claim to the property would disappoint them to a great extent.
When the first wife is informed about the second marriage and if she decides not to continue with the husband, she has all the rights to do the same.
When she insists that her husband should not marry anyone other than her, she cannot be considered as against the tenets of Islam.
Hisham bin Muqeera wanted to give in his daughter’s hand in marriage to Ali (RA), Prophet Muhammad at that time strongly refused the proposal, by saying I wouldn’t permit, again I wouldn’t allow, again I wouldn’t allow, let Ali divorce my daughter and marry his (Hisham bin Muqeera’s) daughter.
(Hadith book Bukhari:5230.)
From this it could be understood that a woman has a right to refuse the request by a husband to marry another.
